I am writing to all the churches to let it be known that I will gladly die for God if only you do not stand in my way. I plead with you: show me no untimely kindness. Let me be food for the wild beasts, for they are my way to God. I am God’s wheat and shall be ground by their teeth so that I may become Christ’s pure bread. Pray to Christ for me that the animals will be the means of making me a sacrificial victim for God.
No earthly pleasures, no kingdoms of this world can benefit me in any way. I prefer death in Christ Jesus to power over the farthest limits of the earth. He who died in place of us is the one object of my quest. He who rose for our sakes is my one desire. The time for my birth is close at hand. Forgive me, my brothers. Do not stand in the way of my birth to real life; do not wish me stillborn. My desire is to belong to God. Do not, then, hand me back to the world. Do not try to tempt me with material things. Let me attain pure light. Only on my arrival there can I be fully a human being. Give me the privilege of imitating the passion of my God. If you have him in your heart, you will understand what I wish. You will sympathize with me because you will know what urges me on.
My love of this life has been crucified, and there is no yearning in me for any earthly thing. Rather within me is the living water which says deep inside me: “Come to the Father.” I no longer take pleasure in perishable food or in the delights of this world. I want only God’s bread, which is the flesh of Jesus Christ, formed of the seed of David, and for drink I crave his blood, which is love that cannot perish.
-St Ignatius of Antioch, Letter to the Romans, en route to certain martyrdom.
History footnotes: St Ignatius of Antioch, in his 80s, was being carried to Rome from his church in Antioch to be tried, and likely killed by lions or other wild animals in an arena during a time of persecution between 98 and 117AD. He wrote this letter to the church of Rome to ask the church members there who might otherwise intervene to save him from certain death, to allow him to stand trial and to die for the faith. He did not have “a death wish”, he was deeply devoted to Christ and was ready to die for him if necessary. You can read more of his letter here. You can read more about his life here.
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